Watch Out For Things That Can Happen When Your Bum Sticks Out

IF YOU ARE FEELING SUICIDAL OR NEED TO TALK CALL THE NATIONAL LIFELINE
1-800-273-8255

Tigger (Andrew) and Bruno in Sydney, Australia - July 2000

Tigger (Andrew) and Bruno in Sydney, Australia – July 2000
How I love this sweet picture of my Andrew and Bruno

WOW!

I thought I’d done the hardest work as far as “Andrew” is concerned!

I thought I’d dealt, quite well actually, all things considered, with Andrew’s stuff.

I’ve gone through his room, his clothes, books and more… but I had left out his Lego, warhammer, Magic cards… I thought … I am not sure what I thought, but I left them were they were.
They must have been knocking on my consciousness though, especially since I am feng shuing (yes I do Feng Shui) the house.  And when you start this kind of work, all kinds of energies and forces get into motion.
No, I mean, it’s true!

So, I was cleaning/working in Andrew’s old room which is where I do my thing these days, when I hit a small cabinet with my bum!  This little cabinet, the kind that has many little draws of identical size painted (by us) in different colours, has been home to a lot of the afore-mentioned stuff. To my horror the cabinet fell on the floor face down! Of course when I picked it up, all the draws came out and the contents spilled out onto the floor.

First of all I could kill my bum for doing that! – Or I could try reducing its size!

Still, whether I kill my bum or not, I’m still left with the mess on the floor and I don’t know what to do next! What shall I do with Andrew’s Magic cards that are scattered all over the floor?
I mean, I did make an effort picking them up, but as my shaky fingers struggled to straighten them up, big tears spilled out of my eyes, huge perspiration drops blinded me… my chest tightened…  sadness washed over me… I’m a mess.
Not knowing what else to do, I did what I normally do when I don’t know what else to do; I started writing! I let everyone know that I am in distress. I ask for help.

I can blame my bum all I want, but I KNOW that what happened was not an accident!  Still, what shall I do with Andrews things? Am I supposed to sell them, give them away, throw them away? WHAT?

Esmeralda

p.s. one word of advice, if you can help it, keep your bum out-of-the-way in times of emotional tidying up, if you can

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4 thoughts on “Watch Out For Things That Can Happen When Your Bum Sticks Out

  1. I cant tell you what to do but I am letting you know that I’m here for you as are many people. In time you will probably (“probably” being key as opposed to “you will”, for what do I know of the future) let go of some stuff and keep the things that distill into the essence of your memories. Touchstones. I think giving away the stuff you choose not to keep is better than throwing away or selling it. It’s your love and giving love iaway is always best (paying that love forward and letting it go). Big big hug. Wish I was there for you.
    Prabuddh

  2. Something to put out in your suicide prevention education: if a person is really feeling in the deep end with suicidal thoughts and ideas and needs help right away, they should either go in a taxi , get a freind to drive them or by whatever means necessary to an emergency room of a hospital. They should NOT however call 911 to get help for themselves. 911 will dispatch the police who may cuff, pepper spray, taze or subdue the person in need with aggressive force whether necessary or not. More than one person in mental turmoil has ended up dead due to 911 being called.

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