I woke up this morning feeling as though I’ve been run over by a truck. I am aching from head to foot and my brain is going through a spell of Foggy-Brain-Syndrome.
But in my heart I feel… I feel that from the moment I learned of Andrew’s death, I became a peaceful warrior. The last three days, from when I left the house on my way to Washington, I’ve been engaged in peaceful but active combat. I even met a real life Army General, a female Army General.
I met many wonderful people and made new friends, both amongst suicide survivors like myself and in the Capital’s throbbing heart, Congress. Andrew was with me every moment, and with every step I took in and out The Hill. Any of the young staffers who “met” him (I showed his picture to everyone), would have been only to happy to date him, if only…. if only he’d been there in the flesh to shake hands and smile his luminous smile. But then, well, if he’d been around to shake hands and smile we wouldn’t have been marching around The Hill.
Alright, this is all I can manage today, I am too worn out physically and mentally to do anything other than lie around comatose for the rest of the day.
But first I would like to say a big thank you for your warm welcome to my daughter, Florentina. Thank you for embracing her and supporting her. I read her writing about Andrew at the same time as you did, and…. well… I love you Florentina and we will get through this, together with you, Daddy and Robert here, Andrew and Alexander “there”, we will make it.
I want to say a couple more thank yous: to my husband and Robert for holding the fort while I was way.
To my fellow survivor Shannon, for telling me about the conference, and for the special moments we shared getting to know each other on the train and later, when we were looking for a place to eat and talk quietly in pretty King Street, Alexandria. And last, but certainly not least, to my dear friend Elizabeth for coming with me and for her steadfast support, for her unique brand of compassion, which manifests as a wicked sense of humor. Whenever she sees me teetering on the brink of tears, pretending not to notice, she comes up with the most outrageous “vignettes” of so and so making it impossible for me to do anything other than laugh my head off. She had the same effect on Andrew. I also want to say thank you to Elizabeth for referring to Andrew, at the conference and on The Hill, as the son she never had.
I will tell you more, but bye for now,
PS Having forgotten my camera behind, I am relying on the people who took pictures and promised to email them to me. As of now the only picture I have is the one I posted today.